If you’re like most chaps, you’re probably just a little bit impressed with what you’ve got in your pants. And wouldn’t it be nice to have a spare, just in case you catch something off one of those ladies you’re so pally with that stand around at the end of your street, and it falls off? Well, now you can, with the Clone-A-Willy kit. The kit is the ideal tool for making a realistic rubber version of your little soldier, without the pain and burning that comes with dipping it in hot wax. The process is very simple: mix the moulding powder with water and insert your chap. Wait a few moments, withdraw and the fill the rubber mix. A few moments later and you can pull out an exact replica of your little soldier. Honestly, it’s like looking in a mirror. And to make sure your will clone is exactly identical, it also comes equipped with a vibrating unit to make it shudder, judder and quake – just like a real penis.

But what to do with your clone when it’s finished? Well, obviously your first instinct will be to put it up on the mantlepiece and show dinner guests when the pop round. You could also take it to work, and use it as a handy paperweight.

Then again, you could always give it to the wife and tell her she can finally have that orgasm you’ve always promised her. Or if you’re feeling really bold, you could bring it to bed with you, shove it up your own arse, and show the missus that it does fit, it doesn’t hurt that much, and would it kill her to try it just once?